A MEMORABLE WEEKEND IN DEED

HAPPY EID MUBARAK PPL... 

Hello, hello dear reader... *if there’s any... FIRST OF ALL, to all my Muslims friends and family members from near to the farthest end of the world, where ever you are, I wish all of you Selamat Hari Raya / Eid Mubarak.

Moving on, while everyone prepares for Raya celebration for the next one week, getting excited about who dress better, who out did their house decoration, who cooked better rendang, and most importantly WHO COLLECTED MOST DUIT RAYA, I am subjected to stay in my uni’s hostel due to the stinginess of MONASH to just give a 2 days break instead of a week. But then again, if Monash gave its students a week break I wouldn’t have had one of the best weekends I’ve ever spent with my friends.

So what makes my weekends memorable?

ME MEETING THE FACELESS MAN....

WE TALKED... FOR A BREIF 5 MINS...
IT WAS JUST ME AND THE FACELESS MAN TALKING...
THANK YOU RUSSELL LEE....
PLEASE DO WRITE MORE STORIES...
MAKE IT SPOOKIER....

AND FINALLY A PICTURE PERFECT MOMENT... 

Well to kick it off, since I missed one of last year’s most anticipated book sales, I made it a point where for this year, I MUST GO FOR IT. By hook or by crook, I must go. And went I did. I spent about 40 bucks there. First half of the 40 was to purchase TSGS 13 just to get it sign by Russell Lee. Seeing the faceless man made me star struck but I did NOT lose my cool. I got giddy at a point but that was prior to meeting him... while some actually cried upon meeting him. Nevertheless, I got myself a good 5minutes conversation with Mr. Lee, (he even say he was considering to go to Sabah particularly Sandakan upon knowing where I came from due to this apparently peculiar name of mine. FARCELLA. Really?), a signature on my book and an A4 size poster of which he also sign. Then the other half of the 40 bucks I spent on a DVD that was on sale for buy 1 free 2. So imagine the price of 19.90 for 3 DVD. I could have bought 6. But self restrain came in handy at moments like these.

RUSSELL LEE'S SIGNATURE... <3 td="td">

Russell Lee says - "Farcella, you're such a nice person. May all your dreams come true."

Ronn's Cold Chocolate Drink...

What else? Hmm... Well, I stayed overnight at Ronn’s (Follow him on twitter) house where I finally cooked him spaghetti meatball that I promised him few months back. While cooking and waiting for the meatball to cook through, Ronn served us Wilson’s birthday cake which tasted awesome. (Let me explain. Since plan ‘we celebrate your birthday together’ got scraped up due to the argument they had, Ronn made a point that even if he’s not there for Wilson on his birthday, he will celebrate it either way alone.) MOVING ON, Even though the sauce was a little bit too runny no thanks to Paul (dude's fb link.. btw he have Youtube page but I haven't manage to trace it YET!...) who said the sauce was not going to be enough, I stupidly added an extra 1 jar of water into the sauce. Needless to say, I manage to rescue the sauce and we had some sumptuous meal... but Paul really? When will you ever stop complaining? I know it would taste and look better with the presence of a freshly grated cheese. But that would have cost RONN an extra 20 bucks. Really you have to watch when can and can't you complaint and how constant can you do it. I'm a forgiving person. If you get a person who gets offended the moment you criticize their cooking, I tell you solemnly dear PAUL, you'll die of being poisoned by the cook. And you are also forgiven since you took the dish washing duty after dinner. (Darn this rich kids... =.=’’’)

Let the magic begin... 1 - CLUMP OF MEAT

2 MEAT BECAME BALLS

3 - BALLS GOT PAN SEERED TO SEAL THE JUICE 

4 BALLS SWIMMING IN TOMATO GOODNESS

AND TADA.... THE OUT COME OF MY COOKING... SPAGHETTI MEATBALLS...

Nando's for dinner... Dude gave him extra large rice... wahahaha....

Singing Break-even while Paul plays the guitar...

Well after dinner we head up to Ronn's room and started the singing sessions. And of course with Paul as our guitarist. These sessions was not recorded via pictures. We had videos taken, of which will be uploaded sometime this week. So have a look out at this (singing session) sentence being turned into a hyperlink. We sang our hearts out until about midnight. Oh yeah! I almost forgot. How can I forget it? We also played some ghost games. This session of playing game was an on and off thing. But, regardless of what, we played SLENDER where everyone screamed like a bitch of course. Hahaha... Ronn’s reaction is always the best. He’ll either end up on the floor on his ass laughing or behind the curtain. (2 things are running through my head right now. 1. What makes him think that hiding behind the curtain would prevent him from sighting a ghost? And 2. What the hell does his curtain rail are made of as it is so strong since there are moments where he actually tripped and yank his curtain before hiding in them.)

FRIGHTEN MUCH?

So brave My dear friend Ronn being dictated by Paul to play another ghost game besides SLENDER...

PLAYING SLANDER... THE ROOM WAS ACTUALLY DARKENED
MY CAM'S FLASH CONTRIBUTED MOST OF THE LIGHT

Around 12.35 a.m. or so, we, Ronn, Paul, and me went down into his (Ronn’s) karaoke room where he sang Uptown Girl on the mini stage while I recorded it earlier that day; to watch the DVD I bought; which in this case was a Thai ghost movie, THE HAUNTED UNIVERSITY. But we watched it only half way since the sub-titles were in BM and apparently I am the only person who understands BM in complete sense and translate it in English in my head. So after supper, where we ate some more meatball spaghetti that his mum heated up for us. We switched to HOUSE. And NO. It’s not HOUSE as in DR. HOUSE. It’s a ghost/thriller movie that traps the soul of someone with guilt. But I really don’t want to elaborate more about the movie. So I’m gonna save your asses from NOT buying them or even bother downloading it. Cause the movie suck! It made the three of us dozed off. Even Ronn who is kind that gets spooked real fast dozed off. And guess what? He was the first to doze off. Seriously! Thank god it was a buy 1 free 2 DVD if not it would have been so not worth it.

RM19.90, buy 1 free 2 DVD... 

Next day..........

PAUL EATING HIS MEAL... YES PPL I NEVER STOP TAKING PPL'S PIC...

OLIGO something... grilled chicken with pasta with chillie flakes...
sorry Ronn I wanted to share but they are just too spicy for your taste bud to handle...

Just before MOVIE... YOGURT ICE-CREAM... om nom nom...

NANDO'S FOR DINNER on last Sunday night... 

Wild Mushroom Soup with Garlic Bread... YUM....

They had planned beforehand that they wanted to go for a jog at 7.30 in the morning. But when I woke up at 8, what I saw suggested otherwise. These two kids were still sleeping. So I decided to go down and prepare breakfast. But so much for breakfast; when I saw 2 unidentified ladies talking to each other while washing the house hold’s laundry in the wet kitchen area. So I went up quietly and return to bed and only manage to wake up after 2 hours. Around 11.40 we left the house to get some brunch in this place called A Minor Place at Plaza Damas in Sri Hartamas. The foods were just awesome. However we know well that with awesome food in a pleasant place comes with AWESOME price tags. So yeah on our table itself, 5 people eating, drinking, 3soup and a dessert cost approximately RM180. Regardless of which, it is a well worth meal with a reasonable price really. So after brunch we went to the curve to catch the expendables 2. AWESOME MOVIE! AWESOME SALTED POPCORN! But of course, not before getting a cup of yogurt ice-cream at MOO COW’s. After movie we were walking aimlessly and finally decide to go back to Ronn’s house and rest before dinner time. Where I finish my MAB week 3 weekly report and them playing some more SLENDER where when I left them I specifically say “YOU GUYS PLEASE DECIDE WHERE TO EAT WHILE I FINISH MY WORK” upon finishing my report and playing a turn in SLENDER, they still haven’t decided where to eat. And in the end, I was the one to decide again and off we went to MidValley just for NANDO’s and for dessert? Cream puffs at Beard Papa's. Very nice cream puff but too many dirty sexual remarks made upon consuming one’s cream puff. I died of laughter and I was traumatized due to these two boy’s vulgarity.

A MINOR PLACE... PINK... SO PINK... this place is a well recommended place to go to...

YES FOLKS... It cost us RM176.55...

I forgotten it's name but it's basically Tomato Fried Rice with pork meat and melted cheese on top.

HOT CHOCOLATE that tasted like MILK... =.='''

Coffee Ice-Cream Cake 

PAUL - "Cream puff you in me, In 3 second... Om nom nom"

RONN - "I'm too cute for this.." =.='''

my cream puff. the filling? CHOCOLATY GOODNESS... *food orgasm

Idk what this drink call but it's expresso + ice-cream - AMP - Plaza Damas

CREAM PUFF - Beard Papa - MidValley 

Anyway’s after cream puff, it’s time to go back. Ronn sent me back first and Paul next. I unpacked and set up my laptop and came online and there were some loud door banging on one of the units either on my floor or one floor below that lasted for 20 minutes which freaked the hell out of me. Around 1.30a.m. or so, I had to submit to my sleepyness rather than my freaking out-ness as I was just too sleepy. So off with the lights and laptops, and GOOD NIGHT.

Smoke Salmon Pasta - A Minor Place, Plaza Damas

p/s: I woke up at 10a.m. today and started writing this entry around 12.30 and it’s already  2p.m. I haven’t had my breakfast what more my lunch so I’m stopping here and gonna go grab some late breakfast. Also enjoy the pictures spread I put up.

Love,

Farcella L.
20/8/2012
2.00p.m.

p/s2: I ended up posting this post just around midnight since I had few more pic not posted yet..

*THANKS RONN FOR POINTING OUT THE SHOP NAME MISTAKE... Beard Papa NOT Uncle Beard.. POINT TAKEN... 

A Day/Night To Remember...

Ok Since I gave a pretty vague stuff on my recap, I'm gonna elaborate some more here... For this entry, I'm gonna talk about my week "Preparing" for grad night.

If it was you, who would you ask to put together your look up? Well I let you ponder about that. For me? Of all people, of all my friends, I asked Wilson. Yes people I asked a guy to help me with my look and NO. He is NOT gay. Sorry to disappoint... He just have eyes and good taste for fashion. Well for few days before Monash started, one fine night where the Wi-Fi was really working well for video call/SKYPING, I showed him what dress I'll be wearing to get his idea on what shoes should i pair the dress with.

Well his feed back were... "Do you have any longer once? Or get new once at least." and I'm like, "WTH? That dress is new. It cost my aunt 200 bucks for that! And longer once? Well yeah but..." "No buts! Show me!" Wah... Dictator... =.=''' "Dress not here. It's in my other aunt's house. Will get it this weekend. Will show you IDK when." "Haih.. You ah..." -and more argument done in between until 12am then it's his sleeping time- anyway, to cut the story short, he disliked my dress and it doesn't inspire him. =.=''' such a Drama Queen... eh.. scratch that.. Drama King! Needless to say, I got the 'other' dress and showed him the following week and I expect him to do MAGIC... did he manage?

Then coming back to hostel that Sunday, after dinner, I bought Nikita into my room while waiting for the next shuttle bus to come which won't be coming in another hour. Anyways, I tried on the Lilac AND the Pink Dress and had her took some pictures of me wearing both. Later that night I went on Skype/Facebook to show Wilson how the dress look like when they are on me.. After spending 2 hr 30 mins talking crap, along the conversation we have decided that MONDAY we must go for shopping already since GRAD NIGHT is on TUESDAY... GAHHHHHHH.......... so stressing... >.<

Monday came, after accompanying Ronn to get his tattoo done at my uncle's tattoo studio, SUKI INK STUDIO at Casa Tiara, Subang, I went for a meeting with the hostel people and then go see Wilson few minutes after his working hour was done. Oh and I found out that on Tuesday I don't have any orientation activities. Which when I told him, his eyes glimmer of CONSPIRACY... again being the dictator I know he is, he simply say go pack your stuff and YOU ARE STAYING AT MY PLACE TONIGHT... BUAHAHAHAHA... I was like O.O but I went packing anyway. Came down from my hostel with my BRONZE PUMA bag with everything essential for a girl on the go, we went off to pyramid to hunt for the PERFECT shoes. Well the AIM was to find JUST shoes. But he manage to talk me into buying accessories to complete my looks. So, after countless shoes tried on I finally manage to get the PERFECT shoes.. But of course not without costing me somewhere around 120bucks.

Well after shoes, I was already beat actually. BUT... I had to keep going... NEXT? SHAWL since the dress i'm wearing was a bare-back dress and I don't own one of those cupp on bras. Plus to buy one of those would cost me an extra 80bucks... err... NO THANKS... so our first stop was MANGO... went to have a look, found a black one BUT... it was a see through and cost 30bucks++... SO NOT WORTH IT... Then off to PARKSON... Went there and found another black once 10bucks++ off the price in MANGO's and it is not see through... But... WILSON was not satisfied... He say there has to be a cheaper once and still the same quality. Honestly at this remarks my feet feels like it could fall off any time and I complained... Oh how I COMPLAINED... hahaha.. While complaining, we walk all the way down to Brands Outlet where we finally found THE SHAWL, it was BLACK, it was NOT see through and it was cheap. I'm so not sure how much i paid for it but i do recall a 9.90 in the denomination. However I don't recall if there was a 1 in front of that denomination or not. So.. Shoes bought, shawl bought, TIME TO HEAD BACK TO HIS HOUSE... Via CAB...

Once we reached his house like at 9pm, I hit the shower and took a not too long but definitely nice cold shower... Then we had some debate about eating... Where I REFUSE to eat pass 8pm but he simply say "MY HOUSE, MY RULES." So being a GUEST in his house I have to abide. Thus just before he went to the shower he called the auntie managing the cafeteria for food insistingly saying NO SEAFOOD but few minutes after he finished bathing the workers came and brought food but the PRAWN was just SWIMMING in the rice... =.=''' seriously? how deaf can one be? the phone is already ON YOUR EAR... =.= so we asked for a replacement. not only it was LESS, it was also drench with oil... =.=''' another quality sell out... Sad really. So between eating and watching AMERICAN PIE : THE REUNION -sexually vulgar movie.. not for the weak spirited and close minded- we had to discuss the arrangement for the next day like where to get ready and what not, then he did some reading on his Globalization and ICT as there were test coming up, we went to bed.. It was quite awkward really since neither of us shared bed with the opposite gender before. And since I feel bad having the queen size bed all to myself as he offered while he sleep on the floor, plus he have a back pain, so I came up with a solution where instead of sleeping horizontally we slept diagonally with a huge gap between us which can fit one more person in the middle and still be comfortable. So lights out, and off to dream land... zZZ....

*NOTE THAT NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AFTER LIGHT OUT

-NEXT MORNING, TUESDAY MORNING 17/7/2012-

To wake him up is a challenge... and it is NOT I who are prone to be late for class at the moment... since I don't have neither orientation activities nor classes... >.< but I was the one who woke up at 7.. So after he woke up and get dress off we go to Sunway University. I found out that my phone time had been altered too... =.=''' moving on, after his class, (INFORMATION DISCLOSE) then it's already the event time.. We came on time and when my look was put together, I looked awesome and so did he... well that's about it for now...

Some of the pix for that night...

LOVE YOU GUYS,

THANKS FOR READING...

FARCELLA L.

P/S: Well the story does NOT end there but this is as much info i could tell you guy... since this IS a PUBLIC page so can't post much more then this... also I apologize for breaking your neck cz my pix were not rotated in the right inclination... =(

Karma?

Greetings star shine... the earth says hello.. Lol wth? what's wt the Charlie n the Choc Factory imitation? regardless the fact that Johnny Depp was recently available and unavailable himself a week later, millions of crazy things had happen since my last post. Which was posted a day after my birthday which was also my bestfriend's birthday. Gosh i miss her... >.< Nevertheless, that is not what i intend to tell you guys.. wait, wait... before that, i owe u guys an apology first of all, I am really, really sorry for not updating as often I should or could. But i was caught with assignments and final assessments before my final exam. so recap of life from MAY to AUG? omg... hv 2 recap wat happened? my gosh... that would be painfully long... really but then again it's ok since after this i may not be able to post as often as i'd like it to be. because.... ok ok chill Farce, u need 2 tell these people what have u been up to for the past 4 months slowly... fuh.... *inhale, *exhale... so? MAY?

Early May to Early June...

Well after my last post, basically life was about FINAL ASSIGNMENT, ASSESSMENTS, and PREPARATION TO FINALS.. oh and... coping with the LOSS... as 2 of my post b4 bout me losing my friends... yeah that one.. well basically coping.. after finals ended, i stayed in my hostel for a little bit longer cuz i was job hunting. but sad thing is, after so many (ceh so many konon... just 2) shops we (Sarah ~a friend~ and me) went to send in our application form, and not to forget calls made to ask about the job offer. Needless to say, it was a fail attempt since just a week staying longer then i should i was SUMMONED back by my aunt... hate to displease them, I went back. Hmm... what else? ah yes.. MUFY result came out... it was better this time around but not good enough to let me enter monash... i was lacking of 7 marks... translated to 2 semester? 14 marks.. how to get? die...

Somewhere Mid June till Mid July
Ok so I am lacking of 14=7marks to get into monash. I almost took MUFY sem 3. Then on one desperate Sunday, i just prayed in church and made a vow. i'd quit Facebook and cut my long perfectly nurtured nails if i got into Monash. and i did!! YAY! thank God for monash came through... i got a single unit enrolment non-awards program. this program is like a conditional offer... if i hit 70 for all my units, then only i be able to continue into MONASH 2nd sem. >.< so now i am facebook-less and my nails are super short... on the first week i felt like my hand shrunk... bt i gt to admit it was easier to text these days. oh we are straying to the future... ok what else happend in this time frame? hmm.. yes how can i forget... THEY came back to me... simultaneously parallel... some thing in between them happened, something i still cannot wrap my head nor my fingers around it... an argument in my POV can be fixed with one very rational heart to heart conversation. no anger no tears... just clear calm head and moderate breathing conversation. of course i dont want to be there. i meant as much as i want to know what they are talking about and make sure one does not get mean to the other, i know my presence will NOT do either of them any good and mostly not gonna do me any good. anyways since then i have been talking to them again after 3 months of these 2 people missing from my life. Honestly I never really moved on from hoping that one day they would be my friends again but I was coping a life without them in it. Since i lived the past 3 months coping with the thought that they will never come back, they are happier without me anyways, always wishing that they would come back, and when they finally came back simultaneously parallel, I guess the quote "Be careful with what you wish for, cz you might just get it" applies. I never thought i'd actually say this but when they came back, the sense of calmness, odd normality, gone. They come and go and back like a whirlwind. They always bring this heavy overbearing emotions. if i were a normal person, i'd plunge into a minor depression as they really do bring some what negative energy with them. it took me that 3 months to regain all those bubbly positive energy i had before i took them into my life. now that they are back, these energy i am trying to regain is running out again... seriously i could have just shoo BOTH of them away and say "My life was perf wt out u b4 n u had to come and ruin it. i gave my all in our friendship, my trust, my heart, my soul but you just toss it away because of that one mistake i did. and now you come running back at me and expect me to forgive you? F*ck Off!" i could have said that to both of them. but of course i didnt. i can never say that to them. ever. its the love and care i had for them that prevented me from doing so. i cried. yes i cried again after 3months. my question were why now? why me? why when i am on the verge of coping and moving on and you just have to look for me? the heartache hurts... it's like some one squeezed my heart, it's like some one sat on my chest. it really hurts. but i forgive anyway.. and of course, being FARCELLA SERENITY MARCELLUS LAINON JOHN JOU MOTINJUN, I NEVER forget. and after returning to a constant talking basis with them i felt my own coldness towards them. i am more reserve. i held my self back... i didnt want to believe that they are really back. i even have this thought that beyond my knowledge where I wasnt looking, wasnt listening, walking around off guarded, these 2 supposedly separated people who one of them cant stand the sight of the other without feeling repulse would whisper behind me and say "wow look how we fooled her.. she's the joke here.. such a bitch she rejoice upon other people's heartbreak.." first of all i dont rejoice upon them breaking up... it broke my heart when these 2 very close people who have taken each other as brothers break up just like that with no trace or hope of reconciliation anyways that what happened from mid june to part of mid july.

Part of Mid July up till NOW...

ok where to begin again? ok i'll do this as short and as quick as painless as possible.. so bear with me... I got in to monash... as mentioned more then twice. so 16.7.2012? back to school... orientation day, the same day Ronn got his tattoo at my uncle's shop same day one of my relative in sabah passed away the same day i went shopping with Wilson to turn a one kind-of-a-dull dress to an awesome look for ME for grad nite, the same day i stayed over as in sleep over Wilson's house for the first time... it was one crazy tiring day bt it was worth it... anyways, since then, i have a constant visit at his place for that one week of orientation week. and OMG he is a LOG... So hard to wake him up... i wake up at 7, bathe, get dress, clean my things to be brought back to my hostel and at 8 i'll start to wake him up till 8.30 then he finally decide to wake up... him bathing is approximately 15-30 minutes... what he do? SINGING... really? and to top it all off, class starts at 9.45 @_@ hmm... what else? well i joined MUSA Activity Committee Department and now being apart of the organizing team for MAB (Monash Annual Ball) then i joined MONGA as well... i hope i get in... Into MONGA i meant... >.<  well besides joining 2 clubs and society, and juggling clubs duty and assignments and test, nothing much happens... after grad nite few more visit to Wilson's house then life started to be super busy where i dont even have time for my self.. like seriously.. I wanted to watch Ice Age 4 but cant as I was SUPER busy... You know there are so many things i want to say upon starting this entry but after a certain time pausing, I have forgotten most of what i wanted to list down... anyways, this is it for now... i'll put in 3 more within this weekend... =)

Take care.

Love,

Farcella <3 p="p">

2012 the year i turned 19... yay!

well today is the 1st of may... so may i begin with HAPPY B'DAY my twin of 12 hours different..... love u Ziel... i wish i was there wt u... i wish i never left... =(

I MISS U SO SO MUCH ZIEL...
MY OTHER HALF THT ALWAYS BRING ME BACK TO THE GROUND  WHEN I GET TOO EXITED...

moving on...

on the 30th of April,2012, is the date i turned 19... this year it's nt japanese food... :( but i had a BBQ instead... lol... real nice any way nth much happen as i got most of the things i wanted so here's just some pix to share on what happened last night... <3

DURIAN TIME... srsly still got durian meh this time of year? or just starting?

green salad wt grilled beef

gas powered bbq set... doesnt make any diff then coal once... still makes great food out of it

yum.... last batch of chicken 2 b grilled... then fish then prawns... rawr....

green salad wt grilled chicken... food from heaven...

b'day gift num 2 n 3... yay... got a camera n a coin pouch... just wat i wanted... 

pandan b'day cake... omg i believe there is DIVINE INTERVENTION when creating this cake... it is SOOO GOOD....

she cannot resist cutting the cake no matter who's b'day it is...  

ahhh..... after a long tiring day, this is the best way to end it... a cup of warm milk and a  slice of my b'day cake... thank you god for allowing me to for one more year... AMEN... <3 god bless every one...

i tried... bt there's nothing left.. =(

okay... previously i mentioned about me losing friends yes? well on April 28th i went to talk to both of them... well i intend to talk to just one bt fine... so simply saying i asked stuff  like y the cold shoulder treatment n what not, is he happy a life wt out me, is he happy to finally to get rid of me? and with a straight voice and a cold eyes he simply say yes... i tried to look into his eyes if i can find tht hint of 'haha just joking of cz nt i miss u too' kind of stuff bt i didnt find it... i tried to look for a hint of remorse in his eyes if he'd regret saying it cz he realize it had hurt me BAD... bt tht search was also in vain... and omg tht pain... i felt like some vampire hunter just went and put a stake right through my heart... well seriously i have no recollection of what happen in between the conversation bt i remembered most of it as i had 1 major emotional leakage alone then infront of my second darling... any way i tried to mend it... bt well there's nothing left to mend... so i guess it is GOOD BYE la... :) regardless of what, i still love them bt like everything in life, they r just one of those whom i can say, STRANGERS WT MEMORIES...

on tht day, that was my last sorry i'd offer to him... then no more... ronn, i will always <3 '<-this calls as hearts' u... tht will never change... bt i have to move on... u made ur choice of word which lead us to where we are now... i hope u r happier now... i wish u all the best.

if losing 1 friend is bad enough try losing 2...

HALO.. HALO... every one... :) how's life treating everybody? i've missed writing my heart out but sadly situation and time doesnt allow me to do so until today... hmm my last post was in march if i'm not mistaken... it's been a month since... gosh that is long... anyways, it's the 21st of april and only 1/4 more to go until my b'day again.. YAY!!! ok.. what happen in april??? hmm... where to start... how to start... ok here goes nothing...

week 1 (1/4-1/7)

APRIL FOOL DAY... hmm the whole day been texting my 2 really good friend close to BEST friend... and as i was just posting my luck on NOT being TROLLED on 1st of april, these 2 bastards trolled me like no body's business... >.< idiots!! regardless of which, i love them all the same... 

moving on, on Monday, shitz happened... some bitch decided to slap one of my really-good-close-to-best-friend and on that one frigging stupid day due to still pissed at being trolled the day b4 and he kept trolling me in class, my tongue just slipped and say OMG I SO WANT TO DO THAT LIKE FOR EVER BUT COULDN'T BRING MY SELF TO... THANKS... honestly that was an honest mistake... from beginning to the end of that sentence, i didnt meant any of it... truthfully, i didn't noticed his facial expression changes at all until after that the other really-good-close-to-best-friend point out to me of what i did... then all the incident got flashed back to me like a video clip on my head... gosh how i regretted every single words I've said... i instantly text really-good-close-to-best-friend number 1 a whole essay of SORRY speech... which i meant every words... when he said IT'S OK DONT WORRY BOUT IT, i cried... for what reason? i dont know.... i really dont... but Farcella being Farcella, i was guilt stricken... deep down i wanted to be punished, so i sent another essay and he replied all but the same text... then i was like ok we'll see what happen 2moro then..

so tomorrow came... we didnt talk... T_T sadness... so i was depressed i'm losing my friend and there is nothing i can do about it but to give him space... so i texted my uncle i say wanna go watch movie? on wednesday where movie ticket are at the cheapest price.. uncle texted back.. 2moro cannot cz i got work 2 do back at home bt today can i'm on my way to ur place's closest mall... i'll reach there in 20mins time... so i took the chance and went... there i went to watch wrath of the titan very nice movie... inside the movie, i was texting really-good-close-to-best-friend number 2 where i pinpoint that i might just gave up on the whole friendship thing and not hold them back due to my lack of intellect... and he in a way told me not to but then again, me being me, of cz i wouldnt listen... bt of cz, i am no where ready to let any one go YET... so after movie, i stayed for a while infront of the exit door still texting really-good-close-to-best-friend number 2 when i bumped into really-good-close-to-best-friend number 1 with his other friend whom he considered as his little brother...  so i went wt them... then we bumped into another friend who was from a karaoke session wt his friends... while the were wondering what they would want to eat, i just follow them around since i mentioned tht i've already eaten and wish NOT to eat anymore... then my uncle called and i had to go a separate ways from them to meet my uncle... that late night, i was talking to the other friend when i finally found out that he categorized me as SAME AS HIS HIGH SCHOOL PEERS where those people according to him, and in my point of view are BASTARDS!!! they used him, and only noticed him when he gained popularity in school which is my point of view is the worse kind of friends a person can have. so when i found out, it broke my heart, soul to MILLIONS of pieces...and on that swift knowledge, all hopes of being friends again simply got CANCELLED... i texted really-good-close-to-best-friend number 2 and say I AM DONE, HE HATES ME AND I AM A BAD PERSON... I HOPE U HAVE A GOOD LIFE AND PLEASE TAKE GOOD CARE OF EACH OTHER.. I LOVE U GUYS BUT I CANT BE WT U ANY MORE... 

and since that week until now, we are no longer in talking basis.. at least between me and really-good-close-to-best-friend num 1 n 2... while the both of them still talk to each other... since then, i am no longer their friend... i missed them... i really do... i cried for weeks due to this prob... WEEKS... it almost cost me my english assignments... 

and after yesterday, i realize my mistake... i let go too fast... i gave up too soon... but who wouldnt when wit one sentence it broke your heart severely... i am a girl, a woman, a lady, a female... my heart no matter how strong i can act, i am still fragile... my instinct is still a woman's instinct... when there's no need of me anymore, why would i be stupid enough to stay around it's not like i am wanted any longer... honestly, ronn, wilson, i know at some point you'll be reading this, i am sorry for giving up so fast, for letting go so early... i know i dont deserve a 2nd chance but sadly that is what i am asking for.. a second chance... what we had with in tht 2-3 months of friendship is special enough for me to want to bring my self as low as possible to ask for both of your forgiveness... please consider this... 

i'm sorry... very sorry... i dont know how to fix this but all i can utter out of this lips from my brain to my heart and out to my lips is a short SORRY... i knw it doesnt count at some point but please i am begging u consider it... u know where to find me when you are ready to talk...

i dont have any defence for my self for all the mistake i did to you ronn but one.. i am who i am since the beginning of our friendship i told you to be perfectly honest to me when what i am doing is falling into your disfavour files... i am not perfect... i cannot read people's mind... you should have told me to lay off when u had every chance in the world... and no the next time, i shall try not to be an excessive overly controlling bitch if u start to be super honest wt me... u dont like it say it... it is for the better anyway... and NO if there is such thing as next time around, u will not lose a friend, u will not offend me just because u were being hones... i'm sorry really sorry ronn...

love n miss both of u..

-Farc_93-

p/s: here's a song that is actually my exact speech to u if i were talking infront of the both of u right now...