But that evening was different, even the atmosphere was different. the happiness was odd in a way. but what would a 5 year old could possibly know? she would think that fairy tale book can be brought into the church just cause she dab her finger in to the holy water n sign her book cover with a cross ans she would think that she'll have her parents together with her 4ever...
Reaching home, around 6pm she was her parents main priority. she was first bathe and fed b4 her parents bathe them selves. maybe u call it instinct or even premonition or what ever u would call it.
But the main point is the little girl felt something was not right. due to her age she's not mature enough to recognize that feeling so instead of saying it out loud, she behave badly sabahan say 'batabiat' she didn't want her mum to dress her. all she wanted was her daddy. patiently her dad dress her. then her dad change his clothing and told his wife that he's going back to their office cause he have a badminton training that he had promised his friends to go through with.
His wife forbid him to go especially when he was getting down with a fever earlier that day. while the little girl still continue pasturing her dad wanting him with her through the night. in other words she's very clingy to her dad that night. but still her dad went away.
Normally for every other school night, her mother never let her stay up past 9pm but that day was again different. cause the moment her dad steps out of the house earlier that evening, the house was surprisingly feels empty. around 10pm, their neighbor's son which is also the little girl's cousin, knock the door.
Feeling almost relief, the little girl rush to the door saying YAY, DADDY'S HOME!!! but with utter disappointment, all she sees was her cousin. Her cousin was asking for the little girl's mother. so she ran and get her. still clinging to her mother, her cousin broke the news saying "Aunty, Uncle is in the hospital. My dad is waiting for you in the front porch to take you and mama (the little girl's grandmother) to the hospital"
The little girl's mother rush to the living room waking up her mother and her sister-in-law telling them what had happen. the little girl wanted to follow her mother to the hospital but her mother didn't allow her instead, her mother ask her sister-in-law to take good care of her daughter 4 her in her absence. the little girl was puzzled wondering where could her mother be going in the darkest of night with out her father and why hadn't her daddy come back yet. tired of waiting, for both her parents to come home, she slept in her aunt's room with the light on.
few minutes past midnight the little girl was abruptly awaken cause someone shoke her body like a maracas. in a total confusion, she woke up seeing her mother with a damp eyes and gathering up all the courage that she had to tell her unknowingly little girl that her daddy has passed. so her mother say to her, "YOUR DADDY'S GONE, HE'S WITH JESUS NOW IN HEAVEN". she didn't understand what her mother said then. from her aunt's room, she can hear people talking in the living room. still in a sleepy daze, she got off her bed and went straight for the living room there she sees her daddy lying down in the middle of the living room in front of a lot of people. her basics reflexes was, "daddy wake up, why are u sleeping here in front of these people? come lets get into the bedroom with mommy and get a proper rest. i've been waiting for you all night what's taking you so long to come home?" but yet her father did not move a muscle. the little girl literally broke each and every one of the villagers' heart that was there that night.
still confuse, she went to her mother who was holding her self up just to make sure she did not break down in front of every one especially her daughter. the little girl ask her mother, "MOMMY WHY ISN'T DADDY WAKING UP?" the only thing her mother could answer her was "DADDY IS VERY TIRED. LET HIM SLEEP THERE IT'S OK."
3 days later...
it was friday morning when her father was to be burried in the comunity cemetery. the little girl, her mother, her uncle, and her 2 grandmothers went into the hearse while the others followed the hearse from behind. before the hearse made it's move, the little girl wispered to her daddy saying, "DADDY DON'T WORRY I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THAT U REACH YOUR NEW HOUSE SAFELY DON'T BE AFRAID. I'M NOT CAUSE I'M YOUR BIG GIRL".
so they went for a ride around her father's favourite spot such as his work place, his car workshop, and around the village. they also scattered some fake money along the way.
right b4 afternoon her dad's body was safely burried and they all went home.
the vilagers thought that the little girl wouldn't understand the situation and the condition that she was in. in fact just as soon as she said those words in the hearse earlier that day, she already knew what's her duty, condition and situation. now that she was fatherless, her duty was to protect and take good care of her mother. she was fully aware that she is in a condition where she has no other parents but her mother.
ever since then, she did her duty understand her condition and owned up her situation.
you may ask who might this little girl be? she's me. surprise, surprise!
i lost my dad to a sudden cardiac arrest when i was 2 months away from my b'day. though it's been 12 years i do still miss him and cry my self to bed some times remembering that short time we had together. if i could turn back time or even go back to that night i would do every thing in my power to stop my dad from going to that training. i hate my self for not putting much effort back then to stop him from going. but like every thing that had happen, GOD did this for a reason. so even in that short time i would treasure it like it worth more then my life.
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