I did it again! For the millionth time! I never seems to learnt from my mistake! Great job Farcella! You deserve a standing-ovation really! Why don't you ever learn?
Like always, either I fall for an asshole, a straight forward numb chuck dick head, or plain old he-doesn't-feel-the-same-way-as-you-do-kind-of-guy!
Today I just found out that the person I had my eyes on is basically in love with some other girl. I won't go all emo on this one since this is like my IDK how many times experiencing them already. But I'd like to tell how this one hurt more then the other.
Our time as acquaintance was a fairy tale turned nightmare I guess. Like every base of any kind of relationship, we started as being a friend's friend and when we had the chance to talk then, we directly clicked as he is one of those people who really listen to what a girl go on ranting about. For this guy, it took me a mere 2 days and a half after being acquainted to him, I BLOODY FELL FOR HIM! Yes it was that quick. You guys must think like is he has this Tony Stark/Iron Man looks that manage to make me fall for him is such short period of time after knowing him. Sorry to disappoint you people but no. His look is not even close to who ever's the HULK's human form name look and he's like the least cute. Moving on, I gave myself time is it worth to risk the newly found friendship to be so forward to him. Then after few days thinking, I decided that I'd wait and go with the flow. Then for some funny reason 2-3weeks later, that feeling I felt was just GONE. It literally DISAPPEAR from in me.
OR...
So I thought! For some time, we lost contact for a short while and recently he came back. At first I was like oh? Ok... Cool. But after few weeks we spent time talking, seeing each other, spending time outside the time range I spent with my friends, etc etc. And guess what happened? I FELL FOR HIM AGAIN! And this time? HARD! It really hurts now since after those seems-so-real moment spent together, suddenly he's telling me that "Oh you know what? There's this girl I like, she's a high school friend and talking to her makes my heart beat 200km/h. Do you think I'd stand a chance?" I shattered! It burns me to even look at his name these days. Thanks god I have yet to convey to him about how I feel about him. So being a very good friend, I said, "Of course you'd stand a chance! You are not that bad looking what?" to him. Basically saying, Taylor Swift's song Tear Drops On My Guitar, Illustrates my whole situation right this moment!
Ah... Story of my life... it's always like this. it never change! I really hope that prince of mine is gonna find his way soon and ask for direction to go to me! While this guy's case? What I can do is... KEEP CALM, HOLD TEAR UP, AND WALK AWAY... No point staying when chances of him seeing you as a perspective companion is 0%. So yes. that's just does it. I am walking out, I'm Moving on.
Love,
Farcella M.
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